The night had been so calm after the storms passed. The heat no longer felt like a wet blanket clinging to your skin and the stars were out. Despite my general dislike of moths, I decided to hobble my way to our back yard, turned on the back light and picked up my book.
I was settling into the familiar feel of the chaise lounge, allowing for the pillows beneath my injured appendage to conform to the massive boot when I heard a party across the way. Oh well, it is Friday after all and let it slip my mind. The book was captivating, I was totally lost in the world created for me by the author that I didn’t notice the back door opening across the way. If anything, I considered having the flood light on to be a good indicator of my presence outside – I was most definitely not out to snoop or spy, you need two working feet for that.
It was only a few moments later after lifting my eyes in search of my sweet tea that I noticed my neighbors…how to put this politely…bumping uglies. Yes friends and neighbors, my neighbors were going at it like bunnies on ecstasy. Immediately the blood shot to my face “good God, is this happening?”. It was. I really was. Neither of them under 300 pounds (not that size matters,except for the fact the noise they created on the squeaky chair – which was abandoned for the ground in quick order – was unbearably laughable) it was not something I had planned on seeing – I needed to get away.
Now, making quick exit when your foot is (maybe) broken is not really an option, but the flood light was on and when they realized they had been seen…well…I couldn’t fathom their embarrassment. Ever so slowly I ninja-rolled off the chaise and on to all fours in a vain attempt to be stealthy – probably should have accounted for the fact that my book would hit the ground with a meat thwack! sound that would have scared birds. To make matters worse the noise, which was quite startling over the noise of the couple very verbally praising each others skills, caused me to jerk my head – thus spilling the remainder of my sweet tea all over my head.
It was at this point, on all fours and drenched in sweet tea surrounded by the echoing “oh God’s” and “Oh yes'” and “right there’s” and (horribly) “no, with your finger” that I started laughing. I don’t mean a giggle, don’t get that impression. This was a full body hee-hawing, explosive laughter that erupted from my diaphragm and, in fact, actually scared a bird.
Being found out was painful for my neighbors, they scurried (as quickly as they could) from the ground and ran inside where the party was still going strong. Did I mention they were still butt-naked and covered in grass stains? Well, they were.
Now, safely inside and clean from the shower all I can do is think “Wow, I should never venture outside when I cannot make a quick escape”.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS!
oh good heavens – everyone’s worst nightmare – but really, it was funny. I think they will not venture out clothed or un for quite sometime, so you are safe to go outside. PLease do tell us the look on their faces the next time you run into them in the neighborhood…. 🙂
I cannot wait to see them when I can venture out to get the mail! I’m not sure which ones of us looked more foolish!
well, the good part is that you both did look foolish, it was not all one sided. of course, you were dressed!(I assume!)
I was indeed wearing cloths, so for score one for me!!
Pure hilarity! Truth is always stranger than fiction & it’s giggle-inducing visuals like the ones you now have filed away (thanks to your…erm…*generous* neighbours) that will allow you to grin & bear it the next time you’re greeted with sour-faced sales staff or an asshat driving behind you =O)
Oh my goodness lololol.
Oh wow. I hope those images aren’t burned into your brain!
Nope, luckily my own foolishness kept me pretty preoccupied!
this made my day
*CLAPPING!!* I thought people would enjoy my…um…close encounter story! It IS so funny, glad it made your day!
Yikes! Haha… too funny. 🙂
Oh my god, can I like this twice or what? That’s about as hilarious as it gets, I’m gonna share this on the Rob’s Surf Report Facebook page!
*CLAPPING!!* Yes, share it! Nothing like a ridiculously embarrassing situation to brighten someone’s day!
Rob’s Surf Report on Facebook
This is the first time anyone has re-posted my blog – either on their own blog or Facebook! Thank you!
Oh, you’re welcome! You really should get more reposts for some of your stitch patterns. Many of them I haven’t ever seen.
Maybe in time, it would be nice to know some of the patterns are getting more circulation. They’re close to me because of of great grandmother but they are also a nice reference library. Maybe- this is a big maybe – after a year I will combine them into a book.
Not a bad idea, sell an ebook!
It’s an idea at least, could drop a little money into cleaning up her documents…eh….who knows!
That is a great idea! Please think about this seriously.
You think? Another blogger said eBook but I don’t know anything about stuff like that….
e-book would would work well as people could simply download it. (Can’t tell how to do it however 😦 )
It’s a thought, something warm and fuzzy to think about 🙂 or dream about!
Pdf I believe is the way to go!
Just convert it into one PDF document and go about it like that?
Possibly? It makes it easy to download in that form I believe. It also stops it from getting messed about.
It’s something to look into, I just have no idea how to market stitch patterns when you can find so many for free!
All the best ones come in book form. xx
I’m sorry I was trying to like your post on the Facebook page and I accidentally deleted it. I think my fingers are getting bigger!
Are they also getting hairier? Perhaps you’re turning into a Sasquatch!
Lol no not quite, but it seems to be more difficult to text with proficiency with each passing day.
HAHAHAH Thank you so much for sharing this. Made my morning.
YEA!!! That was the idea – who couldn’t laugh at either one of us, we both looked bad!
That is hilarious!!!
This is hilarious, and kind of what you have to expect when you’re planning to go outside and….do stuff like that when your neighbors are so close. But it makes for a great story and at least you weren’t the kind of person to film it…talk about awkward…
No filming, just laughing!! Luckily we both ended up looking pretty goofy on this situation! Maybe that will help them – if the noticed! 🙂
Great post! I was laughing out loud!
🙂 At me or at them!
Primarily them…but it was the sweet tea falling that really made it great! Why is it the sneakier one tries to be the louder they actually are?!
We’re never as stealthy as we should be when we really need it be!
Hilarious, Rachel, thanks for the laugh 😉 your neighbours must be mortified!! 😉
Luckily we both made fools of ourselves, I just wonder if they had time to notice! 🙂
I’m not so sure….you were just an innocent bystander, seduced outside by a sultry evening & an absorbing book 😉 lol! Xx
We will see the next time we pass each other to get our mail!
Q- omg! This is the funniest story ever!! Really, doesn’t everyone go outside “for a good time” during a party at their house? And the image of you trying to “gently” sneak way! Cannot stop giggling at the mental image.
I wish I’d filmed it – not my neighbors but my own incredibly disastrous attempt to flee! I think I laughed harder at myself than them!
ROFL. I can’t imagine how you didn’t burst out laughing sooner than you did. Lol
I felt really bad for being present at such an intimate moment….then they got really dirty (obviously drunk) and I just wanted the earth to open up and swallow me. I mean, I was RIGHT there! How did they miss me! At least I have an excellent story to tell! 🙂
and to entertain us with. 😉 er… they don’t happen to read your blog, too, do they? ROFL
Most definitely not, could you imagine!
Thanks for sharing this. I was there with you through all the emotions. 🙂
🙂 Poor thing!!
Some was funny though xxx
This post made me giggle- and giggling is for sure the best way to start a Sunday.
Oh man, that so totally beats any of my neighbor stories!
🙂 I don’t think anything will top this!
I felt like such a bad person for laughing so hard at this.
You shouldn’t, it was hysterical! Luckily we both looked foolish!
OMG LOL…This is so funny! Hope you were not too badly hurt during the whole fiasco…
Just my pride! 😉
lol….but you had a good laugh out of that all so it’s kinda a worthy price. I’m sure none of your readers are judging you for seeing what happened. :p
Eeeek! … Ackkk! … Oops! … And now, we wonder whether they’ll ever read this highly entertaining post that is their awkward real-life moment?!? … lololol ❤
Oh no, they are Luddites. The few times we’ve conversed they’ve admitted to not owning a television, cell phone or Internet anythings (eReaders, computers, palm pilots etc.). They fear it will “quell they’re creative auras”. No joke. Very nice though, just very anti technology!
Wow… again with their bare necessities!?! I can’t imagine living sans-internet, but at least this post is safe 🙂
Wouldn’t have done it otherwise 🙂
This was hilarious..I found myself holding in a laugh and when you described your own laughter mine erupted 🙂 Great story 🙂
Thank you! 🙂
More than anything I am just glad the whole thing is over and done – now it will live forever as a fabulous story!