Two Years Ago I Couldn’t Manage to Hold a Spoon, and Now…

I just finished my first pair of knitted socks.

Size 2 DPNs - EAT MY DUST!

Size 2 DPNs – EAT MY DUST!

I thought this would be a good way to come back to my blog, to show some massive progress has been made. It wasn’t made in the week (5 days – Trevor would have added this here so I am going to add it for him) I took off but in the past two years. Two years….that is still really hard for me to wrap my head around.

Two years ago, from April to October I 1) lost my grandfather 2) lost the idea of motherhood and 3) loss all functionality in my hand. I was down, I was so down I didn’t even realize it. I couldn’t write, drive, eat, lift, get my hair clean, put in my contacts or give the finger in traffic  – and I was told it was never going to change.

I saw a knitting pattern by Tiny Owl Knits – the Orchids and Fairylight’s hat – and I knew I had to figure out how to knit that damn hat. It took three very long months of practicing calligraphy to learn to write again, another two months to figure out how to hold my needles (and write legibly and consistently). I found an amazing woman who showed me I didn’t really need more than seven working fingers to knit. She spent two days a week with me in the public library going over everything I thought I had already learned. She gave me swatch patterns to work on, made me write out my GG’s patterns then knit them. She built up my confidence far more than she built up the muscles in my hand.

A year later, I finished my hat. It took 4 months of monogamous knitting but I did it.

It’s been a week and I am ready to come back, my right hand is still a bit sore but my left is totally healed. I can look down at the stupid appendage, all swollen and purple, and feel nothing but grateful. My hand works as much as I need it to, and I will have to learn to treat it a bit better.

For now, it is 36º in the Buckeye State and I am curled up, wearing my new hand knit socks. And friends and neighbors….that’s pretty awesome :).

55 thoughts on “Two Years Ago I Couldn’t Manage to Hold a Spoon, and Now…

  1. awesomesauceasshattery

    You’ve gone & made me misty eyed my dear….& my fabulous link hat has now been made even more special…

  2. salpal1

    Holy cow, YOU are amazing! Bet you never thought you would write a blog about it all, did you? Keep on going, it is all fabulous -and enjoy those socks and hats and everything else you are able to create. Maybe not so many ruffled scarves, though. 🙂 Give those 7 fingers a break.

  3. lottieknits

    Well done 😊 what a gorgeous hat and fab socks (if you can knit such an ambitious hat so soon after learning to knit, you can knit anything)! I’m so glad you’ve been able to overcome your problems to achieve something like that. Determination makes such a difference and it’s interesting that knitting has helped you recover from a health issue, just as it has helped me. Like you I am not fully better, but still much improved from how I was and very grateful for that.

    I hope your hand improves again soon,

    *sending virtual hugs* ☺️

    Lottie x

  4. oursewingpatch

    Awesome YOU! As an arthritis sufferer and loss of both parents suddenly I have great empathy for the world in which you may sometimes find your head. How fantastic that you grabbed the bull by the horns and how fantastic that this wonderful human being met you in a library to start bringing your spark back. BRAVO!
    I think crafting (my favourite sewing) is as we crude Londoners would say The Dogs Danglies! In English SUPERB 🙂
    It has been my salvation in dark times as it seems yours too and dare I say many other readers. YOU ROCK! x

              1. Rob's Surf Report

                Cool, thanks for that advice. I’m working on another pair of the spiral socks right now but I really wanted to try heel socks again because I’m dead-set to master the whole gusset/heel turn form.

                1. allnightknits Post author

                  If you get stuck just PM me in Ravelry or email me. I think this pair I m going to photo step be step – I’m also thinking a video (maybe). My knitting looks funky because of my hand but the gist will be there.

                  Also, the Patons pattern is layed out really simply – YouTube answer all my questions 🙂

  5. Rachael

    Thanks for popping over to my blog. Your socks and hat are beautiful. Socks are my next challenge…. I guess if you can do it will dodgy hands, I’ve got no excuse really.

  6. cubbyholes

    This made me smile…a lot. First…be proud of yourself! You did a beautiful job on your socks and hat. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, just that you persevered and accomplished. Second…bless that woman who offered you so much of her time and patience to teach you again. You’re lucky to have had so much support and caring help. Great job!

    1. allnightknits Post author

      She is a wonderful woman – she was diagnosed with RA and had to learn to knit again. We actually met at the hand doctor’s office:)

      I’ve been working in a patchwork blanket for her for…2 years? She has a cal-king bed and it’s all the stitch patterns she taught me – plus a lot more as I learned more on my own. I can’t wait to give it to her!!!!

          1. cubbyholes

            Not wierd at all. Some people put black curtains over all the mirrors in their house when someone dies and people come to the wake. I can’t say I remember why… Everyone has different ways of dealing with losses…or potential future losses. I still think its an awesome idea, though. 🙂


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