Worst. Idea. Ever.

I am going to try to keep this as quick as I can, if only to shorten my humiliation at retelling this story. I want to say first and foremost that yes, I’ve learned my lesson. So….here it goes.

I have been making baby blankets for Stitches From The Heart ever since I learned how to knit the garter stitch. I have a very special place in my heart for this organization which supplies an assortment of baby items for preemies. Closer still is the bereavement sized items that are always needed and this is the size I spend most of my time knitting. I suppose they need more of these made because it is just a bit too depressing to knit something for a baby that will never take a breath, but I know first hand just how important it is to the grieving process and how much it means to the families.

The bereavement blankets are usually far more interesting pattern wise, I spend more time on them and try to make patterns that I feel are peaceful. Anyway – I try to send in two blankets a month (preemie and bereavement sized). Since my Etsy Store actually started bring in orders though I have been having some trouble keeping up with the preemie blankets. Oh hell, I haven’t made one preemie blanket in almost four months.

Then I thought I had a great idea…knitting machine! (SPOILER ALERT: Not a great idea)

NOT So Ultimate After All.

My idea was that I would use the machine to run off flat, stockinette panels. Then I could embroider and edge the blankets by hand. I had all these wonderful notions of sending this charity tons of blankets. I would be busting my stash, be able to spend more time on the special touches and quit feeling to guilty about not sending in both blankets.

I went to Jo Anne’s with my 50% off coupon and bought the Ultimate Sweater Machine. Yes, I felt guilty about sending in only half handmade items, but I reasoned it was better than nothing at all. Oh the things we tell ourselves.

Gloria and I picked it up, brought it home, set it up and ….huzzah!…it didn’t work. Not even a little. This loud, piece of crap could never even knit a row. It jammed, it got stuck, it screeched, it howled, it begged for mercy. Between the three of us (Trevor, Gloria and myself) we tried everything we could think of for two days before I put it back in the box to return it. I HATE this stupid machine – if it wasn’t for the money I would set it on fire in my back yard.

I’ve learned my lesson – there are no shortcuts in life. I actually feel pretty guilty about trying it now, as if the protesting machine was trying to tell me that I was in fact cheating. So now I am going to try to schedule a time of day when I work on my blankets. If something is important you take the time to do it, and you take the time to do it right. There, now you know my incredibly embarrassing story. I would rather have been caught having sex in front of my neighbors that admit to trying to cut corners.

What about you friends and neighbors, have you ever tried to cut corner’s with good intentions? Or even better, how do you whip up a cute baby blanket and still keep up with all your other obligations?

Stitch Pattern Week 11 & The Goofy Hat That Lead to Entrelac Knitting

It’s that time again friends and neighbors! GG has left me with yet another cryptic knitting pattern to decipher for your viewing pleasure. So with no further adieu, Stitch Pattern Week 11 – The Diagonal Rib Stitch!

Diagonal Rib-Darkened.

The past few weeks I have knitted with white yarn, which has been hard to translate on film – hard for me at least – so this week I went back to my Sea Glass colors and rocked out a very pretty dishcloth. Unfortunately, this is also hard to see as well, but it gave me the opportunity to play with some filters to see if I could improve it. Now you get to be the judge.

Full On Pattern- Natural

Diagonal Rib Stitch

Diagonal Rib-Darkened.

Full On Shot-Lighteneded

Diagonal Rib-Close Up

Full On Shot – Sharpened

So GG – What pain is in store for me this week? Be gentle, it’s already been pretty rough!

* * The Diagonal Rib Stitch * *

. . . . – The Diagonal Rib Stitch (Once again no pattern name, but I found it on Stitchopedia on my  iPad of all places).

-k2p2 – Row 1: *K2, P2; rep from * till end (Okay, not to shabby so far, feeling a bit cocky!).

-again – Row 2: Rep. row 1 (Still feeling pretty good about myself).

k1p2k2 then p2k1 – Row 3: K1, *P2, K2; rep. from * till last 3 stitches, end P2, K1 (Come on now, I frogged this twice before I figured out my stitches should be leaning. Give a great-granddaughter a break here!).

-p1k2p2 then k2p1 – Row 4: P1, *K2, P2; rep. from * till last 3 stitches, end K2, P1 (At least with row 3 figured out this didn’t hurt that much).

-p2k2 – Row 5: *P2, K2; rep. from * till end (Smooth sailing, maybe I deserve a cookie!).

-again – Row 6: Rep. Row 5 (Alright damn it, I am going to go get that cookie!).

-43over (I shouldn’t have gotten my cookie so soon….so sad. This is where the stitch dictionary came in handy. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, Thank Heavens for the Internet!)

Row 7: Rep. row 4.

Row 8: Rep. row 3.

A simple repeat of these 8 rows really did created a fun, visually interesting dishcloth. The sea glass colors really helped it pop and I recommend this pattern to anyone of any skill level just for something new to try.

 ♥ * * * * * * * * * * * *  ♥

  – The Hat That Turned To A New Skill –

So last week I went on a bit of a hat spree, first with the OSU Buckeye Hats and then with another, less successful attempt. The pattern came from Holiday Knits, a book I have rather enjoyed up to this point, which made the disappointment all the more acute. I will take full responsibility for NOT swatching this project, the yarn I was using was the same weight, but a very different (much cheaper) fiber. So the soft, fluffy goodness that this hat was supposed to encompass turned into an ultra long, ultra heavy, super goofy looking disappointment.

SUCH a Promising Start

Right Side

Full Frontal Heavy Goodness.

For Gloria

The Back

So Heavy I Had to Hold It.

Covering the Face in Shame.

As you can plainly see, this thing is HEAVY! I took pictures of both my husband and I wearing it, but I am just a little shy of showing off that embarrassment. Either way, I know come winter I will wear this hat – I cannot stand to think of it going to waste – but I’ve learned to embrace my goofiness.

Anywho, this lead to another problem – what to do with the leftover yarn? There wasn’t enough to make a scarf but too much for just one normal size hat (e.g. a hat not made for giants) so I had to find something else productive to use it for. This is when I logged on to my Craftsy account and realized that I still hadn’t taken the Entrelac Knitting Class. Common sense would say that if there was yarn to spare that had already turned out poorly, why not try to make something constructive out of this experience.

I am almost done with the class and it has been awesome! The teacher is fun and easy to follow, the directions are clear and simple, and there is the added benefit of getting to see how to knit without turning your work. This really appeals to me because you don’t just use your right hand, you used your left as well. If I could learn how to do this it would take a phenomenal amount of strain of my bad hand (in theory) and if not I get to gloat that I learned how to do something new. Gloat may be the wrong word, but you get the point. I’m not done yet but I will leave you with a picture collage (oh how I love collages) just so you can see where I am so far.

Entrelac Process So Far

I think that’s it for me tonight, but as always I would like to end with a question. So, friends and neighbors, is there a new skill you wish to acquire or are currently learning? I didn’t even know you could knit with both needles till yesterday so I am intrigued!